CHAPTER 8
To Your Neighbors

In the last chapter we discussed the vertical relationship - love for God. But there is a horizontal relationship as well.

In Mark 12:31 Jesus followed the first commandment with, "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these."

In fact, as John made it clear, failure on the horizontal plane only indicates a lack of love for God in the first place. "If any man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar; for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?" (I John 4:20).

Again we have the personal pronoun "you." This commandment is not for someone else.

And we must insert here, just as loving God is something to be done, so loving your neighbor is something you do. There is a passage in I Thessalonians 4 which is amazingly clear, "But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you; for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another. And indeed you do it.. ."(vss.9-10).

It would be foolish to deny that love is an attitude, or that it must be shown in deeds. John also said, "Let us not love in word and tongue but in deed and truth." But still there are times when love must be done, must be expressed. Three of the most powerful words in all the world are found in the simple sentence, "I love you."

Implied here in Jesus' words is also a very basic truth about self-love. We have previously emphasized the necessity of dying to self, but this emphasis should not be misconstrued as a denunciation of all that is of self. There is a very real sense in which we cannot function efficiently or properly as Christians until we accept ourselves. Self-acceptance is as necessary as self-crucifixion. The Saviour made it clear that loving your neighbor was to have a comparative, a wholesome one - as you love yourself.

Now who is your neighbor?

First of course there is the man, the woman, the family that lives next to you. They are your neighbors and you are to love them. And sometimes they are unlovely.

One Christian friend shared this story. His neighbor needed help with house repairs. So he gave it. As compensation the neighbor told the believer that he could have a can of paint. Fine. But later the neighbor sent a bill for the can of paint. Perhaps the Christian should have paid but he did not. Then the neighbor took him to the small debts court. As a further aggravation, he threw his beer bottles on the believer's back lawn. Not quite so charitable and longsuffering as their father, the sons went out and threw the bottles back. Jesus said, "Love your neighbour." And chances are that he may be unlovely. But our duty is clear all the same.

And what about the people with whom you worship? Do you love your neighbor in church? So many professing Christians do not. Many churches are not famous for their soul-winning and missionary fervor - they are known instead for the guerrilla warfare carried on between members.

A Filipino woman was very descriptive, saying, "I used to go to church squinting, afraid I would see the other lady." They had quarreled over an insignificant item and the supposedly more mature squinter had refused to forgive. Yet, when revival came the "Christian squinter" went at 4:30 a.m. to be reconciled with her sister. Not all the "Christian squinters" are in the Philippines!

Loving your neighbor is as practical as loving your marriage partner. For the men the Scriptures specifically command. "Husbands, love your wives" (Ephesians 5:25). In a church where we ministered in General Santos City, on the island of Mindanao, a dentist was in attendance. I noticed the abundance of his tears and wondered about what God was speaking to him. (I found some difficulty in understanding his Filipino English.) But I soon learned what was happening. His wife put it this way, describing her husband's return from one of the early morning meetings, "For the first time after eight years of marriage, my husband woke me up with kisses and said, 'I love you.' I hope there are more revivals like this."

Another man in the same church put it this way, "After the service last night I wrote to my wife and told her. 'I love you.' And added the words, 'very much.' This I did for the first time."

Illustrations might be multiplied endlessly. Because one of the basic human needs is to be loved. (The other is to love.) And love for your marriage partner is something that needs to be expressed verbally and shown through deeds and thoughtful behavior.

Loving your neighbor, for the wife, includes love for her husband. Tragically, for so many, all romance has long since skipped out of the marriage, and revival is, among other things, a rekindling of romantic love in the home.

A fine Christian woman from Alberta listened thoughtfully to these concepts. Her husband is an alcoholic and her love for him had ebbed away. But she went home to say to her husband, "I love you." He was of course shocked, but in a lovely kind of way. Her testimony later was clear and vibrant, "God has renewed my love for my husband; it had not been extinguished but it had covered by so many things."

In the Philippines, we discovered that the women respond much as do their Canadian counterparts. After one service a matronly woman, well-to-do, efficient and prosperous in business, told her husband that she loved him. He was so shocked he sat bolt upright in bed.

Admittedly the expression of love is not a problem to everyone, but for many it is pulling the key log out of the logjam. A flood of pent-up emotion is likely to follow. And ultimately completely new life-patterns are formed.

"Love is the medicine for the sickness of the world," 1 said the compassionate physician, Karl Menninger, and we might properly add, "Love is the medicine for the sickness of the church and home."

Loving your neighbor also involves your children. Incredibly enough, there are many "Christian" homes where one or several or even all of the little ones are unloved.

Some parents have favorites. They lavish their love upon one child to the neglect of the others. Judge Brillante was like that. He and his gracious wife have seven children. The Filipino judge is also a new believer and very anxious to walk carefully with God. When revival exploded in their church, the judge was one of the first to respond. The Holy Spirit had pointed out that one of his daughters was his favorite while at the same time he lacked love for his little boy. There was no recourse but to go to the boy and beg forgiveness. With tears the man of God did just that. "Bobo," he said, "please forgive me for not loving you."

Mrs. Brillante had a similar issue to meet. She lacked love for the daughter who just happened to be her husband's favorite! And she lavished her love upon Bobo.

The failure to properly love one's own children is not just something the Holy Spirit talks about to others. My wife and I have had to face the very same issue in our own heart. But thank God, revolutionary changes came when this root problem was finally recognized, faced, and dealt with by our Lord.

Love for neighbors also includes parents. For young people the acid test of love is obedience - obedience to parents. And in the adolescent years especially, obedience to parents is hard. But there is no alternative. Obedience is love's response.

Also, evangelistic fervor is a true reflection of love for one's neighbor. If you believe your neighbor is eternally lost, you will certainly do something to reach him. A love for God which evades or avoids evangelistic responsibility is a spurious love. The church groups which are the most evangelistic are the ones who genuinely show their love for their neighbors.

Love your neighbors. It is the true revolution, the revolution of love.

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1 Bruce Larson, Dare to Live Now, Grand Rapids, Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan Publishing House. 1965. p. 37. Used with permission

Chapter 9